Work Jokes

I work in a clothing store in our local mall. One night there was just two of us on staff. My associate was helping an older gentleman find some jeans. She showed him to the fitting room and then followed company policy by checking up on him.

He said he'd like her opinion. The man walks out and it's obvious that his fly was open. No underpants. No boxers. Nothing.

My associate had NO clue what to do. She kindly looked away while the man looked down and apologized. He put his own pants on and left the store.

I laughed so hard that I had to sit down behind a rack so he couldn't see me.

A few years ago I was working at Radio Shack.

This particular day I was working with this girl who was a part time police dispatcher or something. Her pet peeve was shoplifting.

Well this day she was bound and determined to catch a shoplifter. She had her eye on this kid who was playing with a megaphone that also played songs, flashed lights on and off, and was generally annoying. She was distracted for a few minutes and when she looked back over, the kid was gone and she didn't see the megaphone, so she called mall security and gave them the kid's description.

About 15 minutes later, security drags this 15 year old kid into the store. He's protesting and everyone is staring at him. "That's him officer!" she yells. "He was playing with a megaphone and now it's gone!" and she points at the shelf where it was.

Well, we all look that way, and there is the megaphone, about two shelves down from where it was. The kid had just put it back on the wrong shelf. She turned all red and starts stuttering, and muttering.

Security gives her dirty looks and the kid goes ballistic. I had to duck behind the counter I was laughing so hard.

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar.

One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"

Too late -- he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.

"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"

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Last update November 12, 2000