Driving Rules.....

~ Turn signals will give away your next move.
A real driver never uses them.

~ Under no circumstances should you leave a safe
distance between you and the car in front of you,
or the space will be filled in by
some-body else putting you in an even more dangerous
situation.

~ Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change
is considered going with the flow.

~ The faster you drive through a red light, the
smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
***it is true

~ Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop
sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably
result in you being rear ended. If you want
your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper,
come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

~ A right lane construction closure is just a
game to see how many people can cut in line by
passing you on the right as you sit in the left
lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their
way back in before hitting the orange construction
barrels.

~ Braking is to be done as hard and late as
possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in,
giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the
brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without
ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs

~ Never pass on the left when you can pass on
the right. It's a good way to scare people
entering the highway.

~ Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given
only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable
during rush hour.

~ Just because you're in the left lane and
have no room to speed up or move over, doesn't
mean that a driver flashing his high beams
behind you doesn't think he can go faster in
your spot.

~ It is traditional to honk your horn at cars
that don't move the instant the light changes.

~ Remember that the goal of every driver is to
get there first, by whatever means necessary.

***always carry a loaded firearm
***always be first in a road rage incident
***always try for the next episode of "Americas
Wildest Car Chases"

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Last update August 1, 2002

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