Big John

Back in the 1800's, a guy decides to move out west to Arizona, upon his arrival he notices in the town of tombstone that a saloon was needing a bartender. So he goes in to talk to the owner.

The owner says, "Do you have any experience tending bar", the guy says "yeah I used to run a saloon"..with that the owner says you're hired but there is just one thing..If someone ever comes in and says Big Johns coming you make sure you close up.

The guy agrees but thinks nothing more of it. About five years later he's at the saloon and a guy runs in and says right before he faints "Big Johns a comin" Everyone bolts out the door. The Bartender runs to close the door and trips over his apron... Just then he sees the biggest man that ever graced his sight.

The guy was riding a big black bull and he was whipping it with a rattlesnake. He pulls the bull to a stop by grabbing his eyeballs and ripping them out. He then bites the head of the rattle snake ands slings it the length of 20 football fields. He gets off the bull and with one swing knocks the bull out.

By know the bartender is scared shitless, but tries to maintain his composure. The big guy suddenly knocks the doors off of the saloon, as the bartender makes his way around the bar..The guys speaks in a thunderous tone and says Give me a drink and make it quick.

The bartender hands him a shot of whiskey, he turns it up and throws the shot glass through the wall and said give me a real drink, with that the guy hands him a gallon of his finest whiskey, He turns it up and throws it through the wall. He then said give me a real drink of whiskey so the bartender hands him a keg full, so he turns it up and sucks down the whiskey and then breaks the barrel over his own head and says well I gotta go..

The bartender, obviously nervious said, "well sir what is your hurry".... The guy says "A]in't you heard boy! Big Johns coming"!!!!!!!

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Last update November 1, 2000