Short Ones

Soon after the late night news on television, the groom asked the bride, "Honey, what do you think of the Middle East position?"

Said the bride, "I don't know, I've never tried it."

Q. Are birth control pills tax deductible?

A. Only if they don't work.

USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips.

Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.

Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: one to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

"I believe you have the wrong number," said the old gentleman into the phone.

"You'll have to call the weather bureau for that information."

"Who was that?" his young wife asked.

"Some guy wanting to know if the coast was clear."

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Last update November 1, 2000