Halloween Tips...

When selecting treats to pass out at the homestead, avoid non-nutritious candies and gums. Instead offer celery and blue cheese sauce platters. While the neighborhood rugrats may loathe you, you'll undoubtedly be a hit with the local dental hygienist (Note: House windows should be securely boarded before attempting).

When out collecting candy, visit houses in out-of-the-way dimly lit areas. Especially look for houses without *any* lights on. These are the enthusiasts trying to make Halloween especially authentic and eerie for little ghoulies.

If no unlit houses can be found in your area, you will be forced to approach the well-lighted houses. But don't knock on the door! Instead, sneak around an knock on windows or rustle around in crawl-spaces. The resident family will appreciate your sense of originality and will likely reward you handsomely.

After you've been trick-or-treating, simply disregard all wrapped or "store-bought" candy. People handing this stuff out just don't give a damn and simply took the easy out. Go for the home-baked goodies.

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Last update June 23, 2004

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